Hey Early 90s Babies, Read This!

Taken at Quarry Rock, BC

Tl;dr?

I give you a quick conclusion at the beginning of this post:

At some point in this life, we need to "slow down" and appreciate the present.

You're welcome.  But continue reading if you want to dive more into my universe of thoughts.

This is not to encourage you to be slow in life and lazy - no. Many of us had been taught by our parents, our environment, society, etc - to be very good (especially in Asian culture) in everything. People with acceleration seems really cool and we tend to "compete" with their life.

First of all.

I myself am a complicated person, a deep thinker, and a very sensitive human being. When it comes to competition, I am always down and can't stand slowness. Maybe one of my pet peeves is slow people - who can but won't due to their slow/lazy initiative. I can be very annoyed with a person who just spends their days at home doing nothing without any goals, vision, or even life.

Because I believe in dreams and processes. I am a goal-maker, God gave you vision by dreaming first, then you gotta go out, kick your own ass and figure it out. Life is short to just be spent at home doing nothing. I know their lives aren't my business, but it's just annoying. Ok, this is the base.

Well, starting from that point, I grew up so quickly - like literally. You can ask my former coworkers, friends, or anyone who joined me on a project to make something. I am super quick. I want everything to be fast and perfectly done. I hate being slower, stuck, and not knowing how to finish a problem, those things gave me panic attacks and anxiety because I want to be fast! Then lots of thoughts come creeping into my brain:

"I am now more than a quarter of a century, I should be established enough but I ain't!"

"At this age, I have not gotten a lot of saving to support my family, how about the future?"

"I am no longer that young, I should do something as an accomplishment, but what?"

Familiar with those things? Apparently, the "accel" mindset is not only on my work timetable but also happens in my personal life. Little did I know the habit of being fast shapes the way I think more than just working. I am more thinking about what gonna happen in the next 5 years rather than what should I eat for dinner tonight. I care more about who's gonna stay with me in the future rather than enjoying the presence of the newcomers in my life. I save and plan more for future finances rather than give myself a reward for working too hard.

My brain couldn't stand itself from those things and suddenly in the middle of nothing, my brain whispered, "Enjoy your present". I realized that sometimes I missed a lot of the journey beauty while driving to my destination. 

I stopped to see through my gallery pictures, moments after moments, were created without turning back. Every second in this life can't be returned the exact way it was. And sometimes I failed to appreciate them because I was busy with the future - too much. Why? Why did you do that? It was not totally wrong to be very sharp with the future but happiness is made of little things that happen every day. Life is a collection of memories, good or bad, not a perfect statue to show off.

At last.

Here in Canada, I was totally alone, with no family and no friends. Then I managed to work in a beautiful mountain, working with a bunch of cool people from around the world.

I learned to enjoy the very moment of my life:

Be chill when the bus was late

Feel the snow melt on my face

Walking with heads up while staring at the stars

Sip my hot coffee in the early the morning shift

Be silly with my girlfriends in the cafe

Fall so many times on the butt while snowboarding

Talk about shitty nonsense that has no purpose

Hike a mountain with a sweaty sweater

Dance like no one is watching

Dress with my most sincere smile

Respect other people even though their view isn't the same

Argue with a friend over a deep topic

Cover my full belly with the thick jacket

Pray while still trying to sleep in my insomnia night

Walk the dog out in the snow

Pee finally after holding for hours on the busy days

Talk nicely to someone rude

Eat testers in the grocery stores when waiting for payday

Dinner with friends after a long tiring day

Not opening social media for more than a day

Eat the same things for three days

Speak a few new phrases from a new language

Be lost and take a random bus to a random place

Get wasted at a party

Joined a conversation with strangers on the train

Do nothing on a day off without feeling boring
Exhale when the manager canceled the shift

Going out with no makeup

Took ugly selfies

Set no alarm for tomorrow
Yawning so big

Be homesick

Cry hard after a tiring and bad day

Laugh in the next afternoon

still, so many little things happen every day...

and I appreciate them from the bottom of my soul.

The goal isn't to be happy, but content :)

For all of my friends that concerned about making a good life, slow down for your moment, each second is precious, good or bad. Let's collect memories while we are going to our destination, and appreciate the people we're crossing paths with because these all are just temporary.

Chill, because in the end everything will be placed at the right time.

Vancouver, 19 Feb 2019 / 16:28